War.
And petty disagreements online.
The older I get the more I realize that I just don’t get it.
My wife has called me Mr. Analogy because I always try to compare situations to others. That’s what I’ll do here to see if I can make sense of the thoughts in my head.
Why do we go to war? I mean big wars, world wars? I used to think that it was our way of protecting other people. People who don’t have what we feel is their right to the freedoms that we enjoy. Overbearing governments need to be stopped. And maybe that is true. But how we go about it doesn’t make any sense.
Might is right when it comes to war. Our opponent must agree with us and comply or face our rath. If your side is unwilling to concede, we will kill thousands or even hundreds of thousands of those people we are looking to protect. Just to get our way. Just to prove our point.
Or is it just control we seek? Concede so that we may puff up our chest and show everyone that we are indeed the righteous ones.
Where does that control end? At the border? In the courts? In the county? In your neighborhood?
Two next door neighbors. Mark and Joe…
Two people with two different value systems.
Mark drives a new car, has a boat, hosts expensive dinner parties, has a pool and added an addition to his already large home. He seems to live an opulent lifestyle.
Joe lives in a rather small well taken care of home, drives an older but decent truck. He seems to live a small and quiet life.
Mark looks down on Joe because he doesn’t seem to be driven to achieve the same lifestyle as Mark. Joe feels Mark’s condescension and looks upon Mark’s opulence as grotesque. And although they never spoke their feelings outwardly the pair just never really agreed on much.
The fence between their homes finally gives up and needs to be replaced.
Mark wants a fence to match his lifestyle. Big and beautiful.
Joe wants a utilitarian fence that will get the job done.
Their unspoken dislike for each other won’t let them have a civil discussion regarding how to get the job done with equity. I want what I want and your opinion is wrong.
Where is this heading? War? In it’s own way I guess it guess it might.
I see these mini-wars constantly. We can’t seem to stop and hear what others need. We can’t differentiate between listen to my side vs. you’re wrong. We may use those very words, but they are not heard.
I see a problem.
Our society is reverting to tribalism. The way it was before the earth was so heavily populated. We needed groups to help us achieve our goals. Stay warm, eat food, and most importantly be safe. Competition for things like food and safety caused us to group up. But we progressed. We have enough food, and we live in relative safety. At least as far as being free from physical harm.
Being safe from injurious insult seems to be what we fear most.
We need to understand that we are all individuals with 90% of the same goals.
We want…
A peaceful life.
A meaningful life.
People to love us.
To matter.
The more we arrange each other into them and us type groups we will never hear what the other says. We will never see what the other needs. Civil discourse must happen. There is no other sane way to do what needs to be done.
Is war the answer? Does it need to come to might is right for us achieve our goals? I say that war is not the answer. Nothing is proven true by war. The only outcome of war is who is in control. The winner of a physical war is usually the strongest. The strongest is not always right. The winner of a verbal war is usually the loudest or largest group, not necessarily the person who is right.
What does this have to do with online arguments? Everything.
We cannot even have a civil discussion with people online because of the group they are associated with. They obviously cannot see our point or view because of which group we assign them to. Sometimes It’s not even a choice they get to make. We assign their group to them and confine them to it unless they absolutely denounce the group. And sometime even if they denounce that group we don’t allow them to be removed from it.
Joe assigns Mark to the “elitists”.
Mark assigns Joe to the “plebeians”.
They shall not come to a common understanding. Or will they?
You see it’s up to you to write the ending. Where do you stand? In a group mentality? As an individual?
What are your personal goals? Are they so important that you are willing to align yourself with a might is right stance regardless of who’s rights you trample?
Remember those people we have killed in war. It was absolutely necessary for them to die in order for us to achieve our goals.
Let’s listen to each other, ask those clarifying questions without contention. Find out what people need and give it to them so that we may achieve our individual goals together.
